Think about (without deep reflection) 5 things you’d like to change about yourself. These could be habits that you’d like to break; habits that you’d like to have, attitudes that you would like to alter; or situations that you would like to be different.

If you’d like to be able to cross a few of those off the list, let me share what has worked for me.


Go over that list and think about which one of those items is becoming non-negotiable. What I mean by “non-negotiable” is: Which one of those things are you starting to have a hard time rationalizing to yourself as to why you have been avoiding it? Which one do you tend to beat yourself up about the most? Which of those items is keeping you from having what you deeply want in life? The one that stands out the most — that is starting to provoke the most anxiety — is what I call “non-negotiable.” In other words, you know that this has got to change if you want to evolve.


For instance, when I was approaching 40 I knew that if I didn’t get into a regular exercise schedule, I would not look or feel the way I wanted. It became non-negotiable that I get into the habit of regular exercise, as much as I dreaded having to do so.

A friend of mine got to an impasse in her career in which she knew that if she did not further her education, she would stay where she was. Although she resisted going back to school and face her fears that she was inadequate, it became non-negotiable that she rearrange her schedule to fit in those classes if she wanted to get to the next level.

Change IS difficult. Mainly because it takes effort — either you a) have to apply yourself, b) have to use the tools that self-help sages advise, or c) you have to be more conscious and aware of yourself — and that really does take effort. When I was in private practice I used to tell my clients that if there really were a magic wand, I’d gladly use it, but it just doesn’t exist.

If you can get your mind to cooperate with your goal, change is a lot simpler. Once you identify what is non-negotiable you are setting the intention for change, which is the beginning of focusing your energy in a positive way. Perhaps the most important message I can convey here this month is that you lose masses of vital energy on a daily basis just being self-critical and feeling bad about yourself. Anthony Robbins said that the definition of insanity is to keep doing something in the same way and expect different results. All these days, months, years of feeling bad about what you are not doing are a massive drain on you.

When you label something as non-negotiable you are making a commitment to change — to doing things in a different way! Even if the timing is not exactly right, you have started the process in motion.

LindaJoy Rose (Academy Founder and Natural Wellness Expert)

LindaJoy Rose, PhD is a therapist, author, professional speaker, international trainer, and healthy living expert with over 25 years of experience. As the former Director of International Development for the American Board of Hypnotherapy, she is a pioneer in the field of subconscious dynamics and clinical hypnotherapy, implementing training and certification in many countries across Europe, Latin America and Asia.

Dr. LJ has appeared numerous times as the Healthy Living expert with the Tampa NBC affiliate and syndicated Daytime TV show, local media coverage, and over 100 videos on the super-information site,

She is the author of eight books, including Your Mind: The Owner’s Manual and Raw Fusion Living: Recipes for Health Eating, Natural Weight Loss and Anti-Aging, and contributes regularly to the popular worldwide news service, The Huffington Post.

With a grant from the Astra-Zeneca Foundation, Rose successfully launched a healthy lifestyle retraining program at one of the nation’s largest and most respected clinics. Having overcome a debilitating auto-immune disorder through lifestyle changes and self-care, she subsequently developed a practical and delicious eating philosophy and teaches popular classes with food demonstrations, world-wide.

In 2013, she launched the online and onsite Natural Wellness Academy with certifications in Holistic Health and Life Coaching and Clinical Hypnotherapy and with students and graduates in almost 20 countries.

The daughter of two Holocaust survivors, Dr. Rose is also a volunteer docent at the Florida Holocaust Museum and resides in Tampa, Florida with her husband and 4 furry companions.

"From training therapists internationally in the fields of psychology and hypnotherapy to being an online mentor for two West Coast Universities, to founding the Natural Wellness Academy, teaching has always been my passion, I enjoy nothing more than informing and inspiring prospective coaches and therapists."

View All Post

Leave A Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *