What would it take for you to feel good about yourself?
I suspect that your list would include a lot of things that you would like to change about yourself. As well as those things that you would like to have. At the beginning of the year we tend to have the best intentions to make those changes, but by now, for most of us resolve and will power will have faded away.
At the beginning of last year, I made a commitment to myself to have a year of positive habits. Because there is something that I am absolutely convinced of:
Feeling good about yourself, comes from doing good things for yourself.
It wasn’t going to be necessarily those types of positive habits that have usually topped the list of my New Year’s resolutions. Been there, done that, didn’t really get anywhere with that approach. So I decided to work each month on bringing consciousness to a certain behavior that would help me to feel good about myself. Some of them were: Keeping a daily gratitude journal; using the 5-breath at least once a day to re-charge; catching myself in a negative thought form once a day and saying Cancel.
These seemingly small goals have an exponential effect over time. By focusing attention on more manageable behaviors (as opposed to those really big goals that we set for ourselves!) by the end of last year, I could feel some major improvement in my overall attitude toward my life.
Let’s do this together this year. I’m certainly up for another year of positive habits!
But here’s the method I used – because willpower never seems to have a lasting effect.
There’s a saying that in 21 days you can either make a habit or break a habit. There does seem to be some extraordinary power in the number 21, but it’s not what you do or don’t do for that time period that locks in the new behavior. It’s more about how you focus your consciousness on the behavior that makes it become easier or second nature, combined with some action.
Communication to subconscious mind + real time focus + some action (over 21 days) = creation of a life-affirming habit.
Communication to subconscious mind – all habitual behavior was formed in the subconscious mind and can only be changed in the subconscious mind. Spend 21 days telling yourself that you are doing the (good) thing for yourself. (example: Keeping this gratitude journal is great because it is making me realize all the wonderful things I have in my life) Do not say negative things about yourself like, “If only I could lose this weight I would stop hating my body.”
Real time focus – Our subconscious mind is action-oriented and responds to cues that are given in its favorite language. Spend a few moments every day imagining in present tense that you are doing that “good thing” and how it is making you feel about self. Project your future self into the present.
Some action – Begin to “do” that thing that will make you feel better about yourself. Even if it is a small behavior and you can only spare a few minutes a day on it. As you practice the first two parts of the equation consistently over 21 days, you will find yourself performing the action with less and less resistance.
Don’t go for anything earth-shattering for the time being. Little changes will follow a natural progression and become big ones. For now – for today – think about some seemingly simple daily behaviors that would give your morale a booster shot. Here are some ideas:
- Doing a few minutes of stretching when you get out of bed or before you go to sleep
- Practicing the 5-Breath (repeated below from a previous newsletter) a couple of times a day
- Put a few things away right after use that you habitually misplace (a great one for the baby boomers!)
- Drinking a few more glasses of water or liquid each day for more hydration
Exercise – The Five-Breath
Take 3 deep, but gentle breaths in through the nose, taking in FRESH, CLEAR, POSITIVE energy
As you exhale through the mouth, release any STALE, FOGGY, NEGATIVE energy out through the souls of the feet.
On the 4th breath, mentally ask your Guide (Higher Self, Divine Energy, Spirit Guide) to be present in your heart, feeling that energy move in from your back.
On the 5th breath, allow yourself to expand energetically, so that you sense that your energy field extends at least 6-12 inches beyond your physical body. This is the liaison space between the realm of guidance. Be very open for the next 15-20 minutes following this 5-breath.
Repeat several times a day.
Affirmation for Positive Habits
I am doing something good for myself every day.
“The individual human mind is like a computer terminal connected to a giant database. The database is human consciousness itself, of which our own cognizance is merely an individual expression, but with its roots in the common consciousness of all mankind. This database is the realm of genius; because to be human – everyone has access to genius. The unlimited information contained in the database has now been shown to be readily available to anyone in a few seconds, at any time and in any place – bearing the power to change lives, both individually and collectively, to a degree never yet anticipated.”
~David R. Hawkins M.D. Power vs. Force: The Hidden Determinants of Human Behavior