By Amor Santovena, Clinical Hypnotherapy Candidate, Natural Wellness Academy
The future of the world depends on how our children view themselves.
How our children view themselves depends on how you view them.
How you view them depends on how you view yourself.
How you view yourself depends on how you were viewed by your parents.
How your parents viewed you depends on how they viewed themselves.
How they viewed themselves depends on how their parents viewed them. And so on…and on…and on.
What are your core beliefs about yourself? How do you see yourself?
From the moment of conception forward we start shaping expectations and attitudes of ourselves based on our mother’s attitudes and father’s feelings. What happened after we were born, how we experienced our birthing and our experiences as a young child can have a lasting impression on our subconscious mind to the point of controlling our whole adult lives.
We spend most of our lives looking for something in the outside world to make us feel ok again, happy and lovable. All our future relationships are affected by our primary family, the way they got on or … didn’t.
Illnesses as Symptoms
These early experiences could be responsible for a number of complaints and illnesses you could be suffering from and you probably would never associate it to your birthing experience or early childhood. Are you experiencing symptoms such as phobias, migraines, back pain, obesity, asthma, depression, frigidity and impotence as well as all kinds of addictions, menstrual problems, skin diseases and sexual disfunction?
Most illnesses have an emotional component.
How does it work?
When faced with danger we react with our primary emotions of fear, anger, hurt and sadness. When we express one or more of these emotions, and if these are met with the disapproval of our parents, we repress these emotions and we stop feeling them.
Motivated by survival, we cannot chance abandonment. They become forbidden feelings. The pain is so great that we create a false self to cope. We abandon our true self. This is accomplished by feeling an intense guilt, a severe discomfort that serves to keep the child safe.
Current acceptable parenting in society
Children are parented by instilling in them shame and abandoning them. According to author John Bradshaw in Bradshaw on: The Family, shame is a being wound that creates the belief that you are not good and that there is something wrong with you. You are unlovable.
Parents for the most part have been abused and have gone through this cycle themselves, of feeling guilty and repressing certain feelings, and creating a false self. People who have been abused are bound to repeat the same behaviour and type of parenting until they get to the source of the pain and express the repressed feelings.
The truth will set you free
We may avoid pain and in doing so, avoid the truth of our childhoods. The result is a life half lived, where we are not our most authentic selves, where joy escapes us. No matter how painful the truth may be, I think it is more painful to live a life that is not ours.
If you are unable to function satisfactorily in normal, social and sexual settings, ask yourself:
Do I feel free?
Do I like myself?
Am I able to express my full potential?
Do I feel guilty?
Amor Santovena is a certified Holistic Health and Life Coach, passionate about helping women to take control and design a life they truly love. Her passions include making a difference in the world with her work, horse riding, her daughter and going for walks along the shore. Come and say hi on Facebook.